Once Upon a time...
Once upon a time (all good stories start like that right?) a boy and a girl fell in love.
They both shared a passion for food, cooking with heart and soul, feeding the world love. The boy and girl both dreamed of opening a place together, working side by side doing what they loved. They also dreamed of having a family.
While in the long run, children probably cost a lot more then a small cafe, they don't have an upfront cost. So they put a Pin in the dream and started their family. And oh what an adventure that was.
The boy and the girl (never a man or woman, who wants to grow up ) went on to have 5 absolutely amazing little boys.
They moved from the city to a rural property. A place for the children to run free thru the woods & splash in the creek. A home where they could grow their own food - fruit trees & bushes abundant with flower, gardens lush with greenery. The boy and the girl, along with the physical manifestations of the love they shared (ie the kids) were living their best life.
The dream of a place where the boy could make homemade soups and saucey meats on buns and the girl could bake bread & cakes and serve fancy coffee was always there. Something in the future to look forward to.
This would be a great ending to the story right?
Obviously, that isn't the case otherwise I wouldn't be writing this.
One afternoon the boy got sick. The girl thought it was from some bad sauerkraut.
The next afternoon, the girl fell to her knees when she found out that it wasn't pickled cabbage, it was a heart attack and that the boy would never be coming home to her.
The best life was over.
The dreams disappeared.
The future was dark and empty.
The girl became a shell.
Focused only on her tiny humans & survival
The girl moved away from the house that the boy built for her.
Away from the trees that whispered his name in the wind.
Away from the ghosts that splashed in the creek.
Away from the memories that hid in every corner.
Away from all the what could have beens and all the what ifs.
It was hard for the girl to walk away from her home. She wanted to heal, the hole the boy left in her soul & heart was infinite. Leaving it behind was the only thing she could do.
Some years pass. The children of the boy and girl are growing and thriving.
The girl is now starting to feel safe enough that she can start growing and thriving too.
She never forgot the dream her and the boy shared. It's big and scary and seems vastly impossible, but she is determined to chase it.
It has not been easy for the girl. Lots of roadblocks some that could be traversed, others not. There were times she wanted to walk away, to give up on the dream. But the website was paid in advance for a year so might as well keep at it till then right
The girl shed a lot of tears. The boy should be here. This was a dream they had shared. So instead she infused his memory into everything she did.
And then the day finally came. It was opening day.
June 2nd 2025.
Exactly 4 years since the worst day of the girls life.
The girl opened her little cafe trailer.
She is me.
I am the girl.
June 2 was 4 years of living the nightmare that is widowhood. Living a life I thought had no future, a life where dreams were shattered and plans tossed aside.
4 years after he took his last breath, and my world came crashing down around me, I did something I never thought would happen. A dream I thought was lost in the darkness became a reality.
I decided to rewrite that day, turning it into a positive.. Showing myself I am stronger then I think and that I can do big and hard things.
People say don't let being a widow define who you are. I am embracing my widowhood, Everything I have done, all the people I have met, the places I've gone, are all because I am a widow.